In the brink of madness and despair.

The following blog update may contain extreme content not suitable for those who have a joyful spirit. You have been warned.

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Ok, after that unusual intro let’s get this show on the road.

I’m back to the brink of madness and despair… I haven’t feel this way since I was in my final year of high school (A long time ago).

Sometimes I wonder what could happen if “I did that thing”. You know, that “thing-we-are-not-supposed-to-do-with-our-life”. Not that I’m *actually* going to do it right now… there’s to much to be done first. Besides, whenever I have the chance I end up doing nothing. As simple as that… the pills are there, the gun is always on it’s case, waiting.

Today I feel disconnected… I have always felt this way, but today is different. It’s like everybody is talkin’, walkin’ and I’m there… in the middle, not being noticed by anyone. It’s weird but at the same time, I’m ok with that. It gives me the oportunity to see things, others just don’t care about. Like patterns in light, reflections on windows, colors, sounds… Yesterday, after classes I was walkin’ downtown Pto. Montt, my headphones were on my head, I don’t really remember what I was listening to… but it was wierd. I was there, the people was there, the buildings and cars were there… but only I could listen to a sound. It was a ringing sound… like static coming out of an old radio.

It was weak at first… then it grow stronger… then it vanished.

I feel weak… I’m passing out too much… I don’t want to eat. I can dream… but all i dream of it’s white rooms. with nothing inside.